Bike Thiefs: 13 Questions – I don’t even know what the fuck that is. Is that a kind of baboon?

Bike Thiefs are the latest band to have a crack at our 13 Questions. They didn’t disappoint.

Bike Thiefs were recommended to us a few days ago when we spoke to Ode to Sleep. Jade said she was hooked by every track.

We can see why. There’s an urgent, snarly, almost Fall-like feel to most of the songs. It’s clever and catchy at the same time.

They describe themselves as a chatty post-punk trio that sound like a cross between Parquet Courts and a late-night conversation with Charles Bukowski. We’ll go with that.

Comprised of bassist Kris Pandierada, drummer Andrew Fasken and guitarist/vocalist Marko Woloshyn, Toronto’s Bike Thiefs absorb music as quickly as one would expect from a group of millennial audiophiles.

Pandeirada cut his teeth producing hip-hop beats in his basement; Woloshyn holed up in his room wringing the ink out of Leonard Cohen sheet music; Fasken immersed himself in the world of 2000s punk rock while booking shows and playing in a handful of hardcore bands.

Over the past few years, Bike Thiefs have refined their cocktail of speakeasy vocals, slashing guitars and primal rhythms into catchy post-punk anthems.

The band signed to Stomp Records in 2020 and released their debut full-length album Leaking, recorded with Josh Korody (Dirty Nil, Weaves, Dilly Dally) at Candle Recordings in Toronto.

Marko had a crack at our 13 Questions. Here we go:

  1. Where are you and what are you doing?

    I’m at home investing valuable time into video games

2. What is your favourite view?

Third-person narrative.

3. What is your favourite swear word and why?

Goddamn – because I was raised catholic and I’m still trying to reconcile it.

4. What was the first record / cd you bought with your own money?

Significant Other by Limp Bizkit to supplement my steady diet of carcinogenic, microwave dinners and sports drinks.

5. Marmite. Yes, or no?

I don’t even know what the fuck that is. Is that a kind of baboon? If so, yes. I want to be the Jane Goodall of punk.

6. If you could go to a gig right now, anywhere in the world, which band would you see? And in which venue?

Mclusky at the Horseshoe Tavern in Toronto.

7.  Who are your musical influences?

Queens of the Stone Age, A Tribe Called Quest, and Wilco.

8. How do you like your eggs?

Over medium. I don’t want to make a mess of my embryo breakfast.

9. Tell us something we don’t know.

My social insurance number.

10. Which city do you recommend we visit – and why?

New Orleans because it is its own planet.

11. What’s your drink of choice?

Bottom-shelf beer or Gatorade, depending on the time of day.

12. What band or album do you think we should check out right now?

The Dirty Nil and their latest album Fuck Art. This is the rock band that Gotham needs. It’s still a little snotty and rough around the edges so you can get behind it and believe it. I would like this band to cover all of the top 40 hits from my childhood.

13. Do you have anything else to declare?

Hail Caesar!

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